Random Thoughts

Really not so random, but rather "specific thoughts that may not seem related." That would not make a good title, and "random" is a happenin' word right now... my kids say it all the time, so...

I often wake up with a song in my head and then sing it all day long. Sometimes I can only remember a line or two of the song which drives me crazy, leads me to search it out, so I can listen to and then sing the whole song. Yesterday the only words I could think of were hm hm hm.... "Giver of grace"... I sang it over and over trying to remember the rest of the melody so that maybe I could come up with more of the lyrics so that I could in fact find the song when I searched for it.

Little by little it came to me. This is hard work I will have you know. (chuckle)

"Lamb of God,
Giver of grace.
You're worthy of our highest praise..."

And there it was... the words that would give me the title...

"We have come to seek your face."

Today while I was watching this video and looking at pictures of Jesus (not really, but all we have because of artists and their imaginations), I was struck by the thought, what will it be like when I truly see His face. This thought and imagination brought me to my knees in tears of worship and the realization that I truly long for that. I don't just say so because as a Christian it is expected of me to say and think such things. It is true. Come, Lord Jesus, come.

I then went to my quiet time. I am still in Luke. Short rabbit trail here for a second. It is definitely going to take me longer than 6 months to read through the New Testament twice. Although I am on my second time around, I came to a mental wall. I was not retaining what I was reading. I was just reading, so I took a break from my self imposed regimen to read some other devotion books, on line devotions and listen to some recorded sermons. This will partly explain why I have not blogged in quite a while. Also, I just didn't feel led to do so... didn't have much to say...

Then last night I couldn't sleep. I laid (I know that is not the correct grammar -- whatever) there thinking about the book of Luke and how I couldn't wait to get back to it. After more than an hour of tossing and turning and thinking, I decided to get up and read Luke for goodness sakes! That is the last thought I remember having before my alarm went off this morning.

So right after listening to the song, I read Luke 7 about the woman who washed the feet of Jesus with her tears and her hair -- I could totally relate to her. To have the pleasure of washing the feet of my Redeemer. That gives me a very unworthy feeling. Needless to say, that story came alive to me. (Yes, it annoys me too, when people say "needless to say". If you don't need to say it, why are you saying it? That and "it is what it is". Of course it is. If it wasn't what it is what would it be? ...and it would still be whatever it is...)

In Luke 8 I read the parable of the sower. I call it the parable of the good ground, because it always convicts me and prompts me to pray that I will always be the "good ground". (always. I know I will not always be anything. Always. Always. Always. But I do desire to always be...)

Next thought...
The majority of the posting going on on Facebook this week is about the government and Obama care. I don't post about political things, because I will admit to you that I am not well informed. I am intentionally uninformed, because the more I know the more discouraged I feel. The more I know the more I look at situations and the less I look to God. The little that I do know makes me angry, fearful, discouraged... and who gets the glory in that. So, today I read a few, ignored a few, never even thought about posting anything...

Years ago, I don't know who said it to me first or where I heard it first, but I heard this quote, "Have you prayed about it as much as you have talked about it?" As I read some of the statuses and blogs I began to pray about the things that made me fearful... the freedoms I feel I am losing, the financial strain this will all cause on our own family and many others, the future of our country for our kids, grandkids and future generations. I am hoping that while other Christians are posting they are also praying.

I am thankful for that quote. It comes to my mind often. It stops me from ranting many times, and it calms my spirit.

"Have you prayed about it as much as you have talked about it?"

My Journal Notes Today

Before you read today's blog just go read Matthew 4-6. I know that may not be where you are in your Bible reading, and you may have already read your Bible today, but what harm is there in reading a few extra chapters? Maybe while you are reading highlight some verses that stand out to you, and verses that you feel are a particular message to you today, maybe journal some commands, principles, promises...

Did you read it?

WOW! Right!

Jesus covered a lot. I have 3 pages of notes in my journal today. I wanted you to read it for yourself before I shared my thoughts so that you could record your own thoughts first. The Bible never means anything different than what it means, it is just that sometimes different passages stick out to different people at different times. Now we can compare notes...

A timeless principle:
Matt. 4:4 "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDETH OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD."

This verse is always a good one for me as I have mentioned before, I am a food lover. I am daily working on craving God over food. But what stuck out to me even more today was the word "every"... every word out of the mouth of God. I wanted to let that one sink in a bit.

And then I read on... there is so much meat in this passage! I remember feeling this same way last time I read through the gospels... how I felt like I was overflowing with so much truth, instruction, guidance... that I could not retain it all. But as I read it now I almost quote many parts of it on my own. That's exciting!

A command to keep:
Matthew 4:10 Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve.
Matthew 4:17 Repent
Matthew 4:19 Follow me
Matthew 5:13 Be the salt of the earth (paraphrased)
Matthew 5:14 Be the light of the world (paraphrased)
Matthew 5:15 Let your light so shine!
Matthew 6:19 Lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven

A promise:
Matthew 4:19 I will make you fishers of men

In the Beatitudes of Matthew 5:3-12 there are promises. The one that spoke to me today is 3:6. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled (the promise).

Jesus teaches on so many things in this passage that is called "The Sermon on the Mount"... anger, adultery, divorse, oaths, loving your enemy, giving alms, prayer... just to name a few.

Matthew 5:48 says, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect." Whenever I read the word "perfect" in the Bible I have to go down and read the study notes, because I know I cannot be perfect especially if the example of perfect is God the Father! So this is what I took form those notes. "Perfect - complete... possessing complete love... embrace those that love you as well as those who hate you..."

I didn't quite understand verse 22 of chapter 6 either. "The light of the body is the eye, if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light." Study notes, "if thine eye be single...devotion to one purpose... fixed vision or goal."That helped! Now I get it.

God's message to me today:
Matthew 5:6 (found above)
Matthew 6:8 "...for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him." I love this truth! I need to be reminded of this almost daily or even hourly!
Matthew 6:19-21, 24-34 are Key verses for me. They convict and encourage me every time I read them or hear them. "Treasures in Heaven" and "Trusting the Master".

In my Bible I have started to draw little hearts by the verses that pertain to the heart. So there is now a heart by Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there will your HEART be also."

So, there is a sneak peek into my daily note taking habits. I am sure they are not all inclusive. I have no doubt I have left out some promises, commands and principles, but this is the message I got today. It always helps me to remember, apply and be accountable when I blog it.

Falling In LOVE Again: How To...

A father was once asked by his son to explain how the Word of God cleansed a person. Instead of answering he asked his son to take a wicker basket down to the lake and bring him back a bucketful of water. The lad tried several times, but before he got back to where his dad was, the basket was empty. In frustration he complained to his father. "It's impossible, before I get it here the water has all run out." The father then called the boy's attention to how clean the basket was and said, "that is how the Word of God cleanses the believer as it passes through the mind." 

This story is found in chapter 2 of Tim LaHaye's book that I have mentioned many times, "How To Study The Bible For Yourself". The book that started "it all" (this blog).

 I can hardly put into words how I have been blessed by the reading of The Word since I started following the suggestions of the author. I just finished my first read through the entire New Testament, and I am ready to start my second time through. As I was finishing up Revelations this week a certain bumper sticker sentiment kept coming to my mind. I'm sure you know the one I am taking about... it says something about knowing how the book ends. I wish I could remember the exact words... I just googled it (giggle). It's "I've read the back of the book, and we win!" I didn't know it was also a gospel song, but I found that on google (YouTube) too.

The last few days as I was reading Revelations I kept getting very antsy to start Matthew again. I'm so excited to go again!

I am going to be more detailed in my journaling this time and follow Mr Lahaye's directions more carefully. Not that I am unhappy with my journaling so far, but I feel like I am now ready for more detail.

I will be reading the first 3 chapters of Matthew tomorrow, and answering some of Lahaye's questions while I journal. There are 5 journaling questions/topics to answer each day. You will find these questions and the reasons behind them in Chapter 3 on pages 31-37.

I do highly recommend this book. I would suggest a person do what they can at their own pace guarding against becoming overwhelmed. Tim LaHaye is carful to repeat this caution a number of times.

I have only just begun the suggestions for reading. I still have much to do. I reread some of the author's chapters on how to study the Bible, and found myself getting a bit overwhelmed just reading the instructions. I am glad that it is not time for that yet. I will continue to follow the steps one at a time. I know I will be ready for the next step each time I get to it. This is exciting to see the growth, and I anticipate more growth and learning ahead. I, of course, prayerfully continue knowing that when it seems like a lot "I can to all things THROUGH CHIRST." I know He will help me, because I know He is pleased with my efforts and desire in continuing and completing this endeavor.

As I type "completing" I am reminded that I will never be finished reading, studying, learning, growing... until He takes me HOME.

Chapter 2 "What Bible Study Will Do For You" gives an exciting list. I want to share it with you, because I think it will excite you to start a reading/studying plan such as this one.

1. It will make you a strong Christian. 1 John 2:14
(The longer I am a Christian the more I realize how weak I am, and I can only be strong because of Christ and His Word.)

2. Assures us of Salvations. 1 John 5:13
(How Satan wants to confuse us and cause us to doubt! The deceiver can be successful in stealing our joy, our peace, and our success as a Christian if we do not know what the Bible says about our eternal salvation!)

3. Gives us confidence and power in prayer. 1 John 5:14, 15, John 15:7
(All I can say is Thank you, Jesus!)

4. Cleansing from Sin. John 15:3, John 17:17, Psalm 119:9

5. It gives joy. John 15:11

6. It produces peace. John 16:33, Colossians 3:15

(Are you ready to get the book and get started? Wait there is more!)

7. It guides us in making the decisions of life. Psalm 119:105, Luke 11:28

8. It enables you to articulate your faith. 1 Peter 3:15

9. It guarantees your success! Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:1-3

I am so excited to continue to grow in these areas listed. Before beginning this way of reading and journaling my Bible I didn't know how to begin or how to continue. This has been completely different than any other devotional or Bible study I have done before. The Bible is so mush more alive to me. I have truly "fallen in Love" with reading The Word like never before! I'm so glad I never forgot this book by Tim Lahaye that I read more than 8 years ago. There was a quiet whisper reminding me to get to work on it. Be quiet. You might hear it too.

(Please leave comments about your daily reading, and let me know if you get this book! I will be so excited for you, and would love to pray for you and support you as you start your journey.)

Falling in LOVE Again: First Love

"It has been said that when we take one step toward God, He takes more steps toward us than there are sands in the beaches of the world." Bill Bright, "First Love" 

These words speak life and love to my heart and soul today. Think of it... when you are going toward somebody very nervous yet, just as much hopeful of a long awaited reunion... How different is it to you if that person stays in the same position or maybe takes a few steps in your direction in a hesitant way. Or, on the other hand, this person sees you from a distance and runs toward you arms open wide with a heart full of love for you desiring this reunion more than you could ever imagine.

The second example is like our unchangeable God every time I come back in His direction He runs to me. (Luke 15:20)

I have always been encouraged by James 4:8, but Luke 15:20 just blew my mind today!

"All that thrills my soul is Jesus. He is more than life to me..." (This song may seem out of place or random in this post, but it is the song that came to my mind as I was thrilled by this realization of God's love and desire for me.)

"His joy overflows. He bestows the deepest blessing, the good things He has been storing away for you. His joy cannot be contained... the overwhelming joy of God over your return... your joy cannot even compare to the boundless delight He feels."

I chose these quotes and some of my thoughts  to begin this blog series reviewing some of the books I have been reading so far this year. I feel very strongly that God directed (Proverbs 16:9) me to each of the books I am going to highlight for you. All the books I have read this year have something in common, and I could not have chosen such a concentrated set of books on my own if I had tried.

In Bill Bright's book, "First Love", he says, "...pray that wherever I go and whatever I do, I will never leave my first love... My first love for God -- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit -- is everything to me."

I found this book in a stack of books my dad was getting rid of - cleaning out his library. I picked it up because I thought it was written by Dr. David Jeremiah. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have given it a second look. When I started reading it I couldn't put it down. It is a book I will have to re-read in order to apply it, but I just couldn't wait to see what the author had to say next about our mutual Love and Lord. This book encouraged me in a number of ways. This first and most important I have already shared with you. Secondly, it encouraged me to think of everything as I did in the beginning... the fresh and new and exciting beginning. To retain and maintain that joy... my salvation (Ps. 51:12), my marriage, my motherhood, my work, my friendships...

To find out other ways this book has been an encouragement I recommend you read it yourself! I think you will LOVE it!

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor hight, nor depth, nor any creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Jesus Christ our Lord. " Romans 8:38, 39

To-Do Lists

I read through first and second Peter last week... I was just looking back through some of my notes today, and 2 Peter chapter 1 caught my attention again.

There are a lot of lists in the Bible. I think Paul in particular like lists... Sometimes I think we (or I. I don't know about you.) read through them and then go on with the day almost unaffected. Yuck! Thinking about being unaffected... it makes my skin crawl... it's like taking a bite of spoiled food or a drink of sour milk... can't wait to spit it out! I know I am often unaffected. I will not pretend that I am not, but I desire to more consistently apply the Word and be changed by it. The more I desire this the more I am convinced I can not do this alone. Which puts me right where God wants me... fully relying on Him. But I digress... back to 2 Peter 1...

Verse 8 stood out to me...

For if these things be in you and abound, they shall make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I don't want to be barren or unfruitful, and I crave more and more the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. So, "if these things be in you" - what things? Which lead me back to verses 5 through 7 and the list.

And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, and to virtue knowledge, and to knowledge temperance, and to temperance patience, and to patience godliness, and to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness charity. 

With a list like this it helps me to define the words a bit, and my study Bible notes came in very handy for this.

"Virtue is moral excellence."
"Knowledge is spiritual truth."
"Temperance is self-control."
"Patience is endurance."
"Godliness is Godlikeness."
"Brotherly kindness is brotherly love."
"Charity is volitional (from the dictionary - voluntary, the power of using one's will, denoting a decision or choice) love"

That is quite a list! Then verse 9 and 10.

But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he is purged from his old sins. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:

What a contrast there! If I don't do these things I am BLIND and have FORGOTTEN! I love the word diligence. It implies to me work, responsibility, effort, attention, consistency... If I am diligent to do these things I will NEVER FALL.

It's my birthday, so I'll blog if I want to

I'll cry if I want to, also... lol

Verses that came to my mind today...

Romans 11:33-34, 36
O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unreachable are his judgements, and his ways past finding out! 
For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor?
For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things; to whom be glory for ever. Amen.

Psalms 9:1,2
I will praise thee, O Lord with my whole heart; I will shew forth all they marvelous works.
I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High.

The song of the day...

Study, Practice, Teach

Just a few short thoughts today...

A few months ago I was listening to a recording by a motivational speaker/mentor, Jim Rohn. I cannot be sure that He was a Christian, but He taught a lot of biblical principals. He said, "If you believe something you should do three things. Study. Practice. Teach."

I thought this was very valuable advice. I took it to heart and plan to live by it. These words came to my mind quite a few times today while I was reading Hebrews chapters 4, 5 and 6... and highlighting many verses. One of them is Hebrews 4:12... one of my husband's favorites.

The few verses that really stood out to me are found in the 5th chapter, verses 11 through 14.
Powerful. Convicting. Challenging.

11 Of whom we have many things to say, and hard to be uttered, seeing ye are dull of hearing.
12 For when for the time ye aught to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again... and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.
13 For every one that useth milk is unskillful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.
14 But strong meat belongeth to [the mature], even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

In the study notes... "lazy hearing can result in a life of sluggishness."

The thought of "a life of sluggishness" bothers and convicts me, because "Only one life will soon be past. Only what's done for Christ will last." ~C.T. Studd

The scripture is challenging, because many times I am still in need of the milk, and I am bull of hearing when it comes to the meat. In other words, I lack understanding, and often I am more of a hearer than a doer (James 1:22,23). Truth hurts.

However, I am very encouraged! If I continue to study, practice and teach I will continue to mature and become more fit for the meat.

Themes, Discussions and Focus

Romans 12:1,2 is my theme verse for this year... I was looking back at my notes... just curious to remember how early on it became this year's theme for me. The date in my journal is January 25. After school got out I decided to share this theme with my family and to claim it as our theme verse for this year together. We have not done this as a family before (This is the first time I have had a theme verse for the year for myself.), but I am excited to see how this comes into focus for all of us this year. Looking ahead a little I am excited to see what other verses we can focus on in the coming years.

Working this verse with my kids so that they could better understand what the verse means, I asked the question, "What are three ways we can give our bodies to God as a holy sacrifice acceptable to Him?" (My 9 year old needed clarity on "sacrifice".) The three answers we came up with are 1. Purity 2. Healthy living 3. Christian service. We talked about each of our answers. What does that mean? What does that look like? How do we do that? Why do we do that? etc.

I enjoyed the notes in my Study Bible, and thought they might be beneficial to share. I love my Study Bible. If you don't have one you might want to get one. Mine is the Nelson KJV Study Bible. I used a 25% off coupon at the Family Christian Store (one of our favorite places) a few years ago. This is what it had to say, 

"The body has been an instrument of sin. Now it is to be presented to God as a channel through which the righteousness of God is manifest. Be not conformed (stop conforming yourself): They are to resist being poured into the mold of the present thinking, value systems, and conduct of this world." "...Daily dependance on God results in our transformation into the image of Christ."

Of course my focus in my personal time with God is first on Him, cultivating an accurate view of God, drawing near to Him, coming to know Him better, and second on myself, learning to live a life that is pleasing to Him and all that that entails. One of my difficulties as a mom is focusing on my life and how God is speaking to me. I read a verse and think about one or more of my children... It is not an entirely bad thing, but at the same time I must focus on what God wants me to know first and then think about how I can pass these truths on to my kids.

In other news... Saying goodnight to my son last night after family devotions... I said, "There are three verses in the Bible that say 'walk worthy'. I want you to find them tomorrow and write them in your journal." Expecting his normal eye roll and "that sounds like homework" I was pleasantly surprised by his reaction, "That sounds really cool!" We had a fun conversation about what "walk worthy" means, and that we all need a blinking neon "WALK WORTHY" sign.

To the Praise of His Glory

It's has been a while since I blogged.

"Why?" you ask. "Nothing to say?"

No. Quite the contrary. I've got so much to say... so many thoughts and words from scripture, I could spend hours sharing. I do love sharing. I have refrained, because if I allow myself to blog as much as I would like I would get nothing else done.

"Does this have a point?"

Nope. Just a girl expressing her thoughts about her absence lately.

Let's get to the point, shall we.

In my Bible reading I am in Ephesians... chapters 1 through 3 to be exact. I just want to share some of the encouraging and uplifting words I read today.

"...according to the good pleasure of His will."

"To the praise of the glory of His grace..."

"...the mastery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He hath purposed in Himself."

"...the fullness of times..." (I love this statement and the meaning of it. In HIS time.)

"...according to the purpose of Him who worketh all things after the counsel of His own will."

"That we should be to the praise of His glory..." 

"...unto the praise of His glory." 

"And what is the exceeding greatness of His power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of His mighty power."

"...the fullness of Him that filleth all in all."

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

"And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ."

"According to the eternal purpose..."

And finally Ephesians 3:14-21... my Study Bible has the heading "Prayer for inner growth". How I crave this inner growth... like a sunflower reaches for the sun...
   
     "For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His 
Spirit in the inner man;

That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye being rooted and grounded in love, 

May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen."

I was in awe of these beautiful words and how they stirred my soul and swelled my heart with a desire to see His will accomplished - to see the beauty that He is bringing to pass.

His will.
His pleasure.
His praise.
His glory.
His time.
His grace.
His purpose.
His work.
His greatness.
His power.
His fullness.
His riches.
His love.
His power.
He is all in all.

It's all about Him.
What messes we make when we lose sight of that!

May I be to the praise of His glory!

Have I Not Commanded Thee

My simple thoughts...

I have been digging into God's commands to us. Not just The Ten Commandments, but other commands given to us in His word. One in particular that has been ever present in my mind is found in Matthew 22:37 Thou shalt love The Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. More than likely I will be blogging about it again before too long.

The verse I am focused on right now is Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage: be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

First off it's a command, so it caught my attention. When there is a command from God there is no mulling it over. There is no wondering, "should I" "shouldn't I""what does this mean?". It's simple. Do it. If I disobey I am sinning. Doesn't mean it's always easy for me. Doesn't mean I don't fail often. But God is faithful to strengthen me to do what He has commanded me to do.

Be strong.

Be of good courage (or be courageous).

Be not afraid.

Be not dismayed.

I looked up dismay, because it wasn't as easily defined as the other words.
  1: to cause to lose courage or resolution (as because of alarm or fear)
  2: upset or perturb

One of the synonyms of dismayed is frustrated. How often do I say, "I'm so frustrated"? Some other synonyms are disheartened, discouraged, depressed, saddened, distressed, troubled, weakened, and frightened.

Some antonyms of dismayed are emboldened and encouraged.

Be not dismayed means don't be frustrated, don't be discouraged, don't be depressed... So, to me the opposite of dismayed is joyful. Be joyful. Which brings me around to another subject of recent focus. Joy.

I have mentioned other thoughts I have had about joy in previous blog posts. The song "The Joy of The Lord is My Strength" has come to my mind quite often lately, and it makes me think... If the joy of the Lord is my strength, then in order to be strengthened I must dwell in the joy of the Lord (choose joy).

Sometimes it's not so easy to just be strong,  to be courageous, to not be afraid, and to be joyful. Sometimes I fight it. So often it's a spiritual battle (Eph. 6:12, 2 Peter 5:8). Often the fight is going on in my head - in my thoughts. A friend of mine recently said, "Our thinking is either based on truth or lies, there is no middle ground. We are either obeying or sinning." God has been teaching me that His words to me are never negative or discouraging (2 Tim. 1:7, Phil 4:7-9, 2 Cor. 10:5), and that I should focus on His words to me. If the thoughts in my head are negative or discouraging, and they are not from God, where do they originate?

I have a tool given to me by a friend that helps me to dispute Satan's lies to me and to understand God's truths about me and who I am. I also found it online. Check this out! I think you'll like it.

I know I'm not the only one who struggles with these issue which is why I thought it was important to share. When I am feeling "dismayed" it helps me to say "Get the behind me Satan!"(Luke 4:8) and "The joy of the Lord is my strength." (Nehemiah 8:10)

I am encouraged that it is possible to Be Strong, Be Courageous, Not be Afraid, and Be joyful, because The Lord my God is with me everywhere I go!

My Prayer

Psalm 139:23,24
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Lord, teach me to pray the way you would have me to pray.

I pray for spiritual growth for our family. Help me to draw closer to You each day. Let me feel You near me and see Your hand at work in my life... Help me to abide in You. Help me to grow and transform into who You have created me to be... Lord, transform my life so that others can see and believe in You. Lord, use me. Help me to touch many lives because of You...

Lord, speak to me, and help me to listen. Open my heart and mind... give me a message from Your Word for today. Help me to think about that message throughout my day. Help me to apply that message. Help me to be changed.

Help me to be completely surrendered to Your will for my life everyday.

I look forward to seeing how God chooses to answer these requests in my life throughout this year.

Amy Raw Part 2: Help My Unbelief

One verse that really helped me in my recent struggle is Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 

It was not until Thursday of last week that I realized this battle I was fighting was not with me alone. It was a serious spiritual battle. So, that was at least four days into it. It was then that I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 

It continues to be a lesson in trust and a test of faith. I am thankful for it, because I like the person I am now so much better than the person I was three weeks ago. I know most of you may not be able to tell the difference, but I can. I'd rather live with this me than that me. I think the other people I live with would agree.

God used a number of different people, medias, and His Word to speak to me through my battle. What a blessing.

Words from a dear friend that at first caused me to struggle more. I didn't want to give in that way. It required trusting somebody else to do a job I considered mine. Not a job I enjoy, but being a control freak, a job I didn't trust anybody else with. When I realized the advice was right and what I need to do is trust God... Trust God to work through this other person to do the job right. Trust God to work though this other person to do this job BETTER THAN ME. Trust God with this job.

Again, similar advice was spoken to me from a CD I was listening to. 

Well, it was a lot of inner turmoil, and 
"God, I don't know if I can let go." 
"Amy, do you trust me?" 
After hours of "Yes, but..." Finally I was able to say, "Yes, I trust You fully. This is in Your hands." 

I am telling you! Almost immediate beauty in the situation. (And not only that one particular situation, but also a number of my heavy burdens during this time.) I stepped out of it, and... speechless!

What am I thinking! Stay out of God's way! 

God you are awesome! Thank You for proving Yourself to me again. Help my unbelief!

¹⁰ Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

¹¹ Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

¹² For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

¹³ Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

¹⁴ Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

¹⁵ And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

¹⁶ Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

¹⁷ And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

¹⁸ Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; 

Ephesians 6:10-18

Amy Raw

raw |rô|
adjective
(of an emotion or quality)
• frank and realistic in the depiction of unpleasant facts or situations: a raw, uncompromising portrait.

Yikes! Are you ready for this? Not sure that I am. (This may be a long post.)

I am loving this reading schedule! I have never gotten so much out of my devotion time before! I think it has a lot to do with journaling, blogging, highlighting and prayer. I know the Bible has not changed, and God has not changed. I am the variable here.

I noticed something on Saturday! I didn't sit down and have my regular quiet time. I read a couple verses using my YouVersion app on my phone. What I noticed is that I craved the Word all day. I wanted to sit down and dig in, but just never did it. On Sunday it felt like it had been so long since I had sat with my Bible, journal and pen, but when I looked at my notes I had only missed one day - Saturday. I rejoiced in that! It has not been a chore to take this time out, it has been a joy and I miss it when I don't do it. It was just as off putting as if I had not had my pot of coffee for the day. Because I have had those days when I didn't get coffee, or I had coffee, but it wasn't good coffee, so then I craved my favorite brew all day. That's how I felt all day - just off and missing it. The reason I only read a few verses is because I was still mulling over what I had learned in the days just passed. I didn't feel ready to add more - I think next time I will review my notes and maybe reread some of the scriptures so I don't feel like I'm missing so much.

Why is that such an exciting observation for me? Well, devotions are a regular part of my life, but in times past I would miss a day here and there and just feel guilty about it. But this really feeling like I am missing out is what I have been praying for. (That I would hunger and thirst for the Word) Devotion time is not for God. He does not benefit when I read my Bible. I am the one who benefits by growing, learning and drawing closer to Him. The feeling of me missing out (I am the one who loses) is the correct view.

So enough of that. Now do you want to hear about what I learned about me this week? It's not pretty. I only write this because I feel like I'm supposed to. I know that it's when people get real that I am truly touched. I like to be the one hearing these stories, not telling them.

It's amazing how God works! When I began to pray for my own transformation I didn't even begin to think about the work it would take, and that it more than likely would start immediately. (Yes, I am often called naive.) I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe I hoped the transformation would be gradual - maybe at the end of the year I could look back and reflect on ways I had grown and ways God had changed me. As if it's all up to God, and I have no responsibilities in it.

My imagination and reality are polar opposittes!

This week has been test after test - a constant questioning voice in my head, "Do you really want this?" "Are you willing to work for it?" "Are you gonna throw in the towel and just be content with life as you know it?" If you know me at all you know that words like these make me say things like, "Watch me!"  and  "You ain't seen nothin' yet!" But this week I was saying "Watch me" through tears and sobs. I'm tellin' ya... It was rough! But nobody would have known it from the outside. The war was raging on the inside. It was an intense spiritual battle, and I know better to think that it's over.

I will just give you a small example. I am not giving you every raw detail of my week. It's between me and God, baby!

Friday in Bible study we talked about the fruits of the spirit being choices. I know love is a choice, but I guess I never put it all together that way before. Joy is a choice. Peace is a choice. Longsuffering is a choice. Gentleness is a choice... We talked about these characteristics not only being actions, but first attitudes. I love Bible study! I love getting together and hearing the insights and different perspectives of others who read the same scriptures and study books. It is so eye opening! 

Being touched by thoughts and words shared I determined to "choose joy." 

I left feeling energized, encouraged, (after my hard week of battle) uplifted and joyful! 

It really means nothing to choose joy in your wedding day... or on the day of the birth of your healthy new baby... or on Christmas morning...

It was not long into the day that I began to ask myself, "Why did I have to choose joy today?". (I thought the storm was bad so far... I was headed right into the eye of it.) I was put to the test, and I failed miserably for about 10 hours. Boy, I tried, but I continued to choose anger, and fear till about 10pm when my husband spoke a "magical" sentence that made it all ok. (No, it was not "I love you" or "I was wrong" or "I'm sorry") All day I was fighting sadness, anger, frustration - wanting so badly to surrender, submit and trust, but was never quite able to. So really I didn't choose joy at all. I think I learned a lot. I hope the next time my choice it tested I will do better. 

Another prayer of mine is that I would truly LOVE the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. It is one thing to say it, but what does it mean? What would it look like in me? In learning little by little what that means, my love for everybody else is being tested. Love my neighbor as myself? Love my husband as myself? Do I care for his needs and desires in life above my own? Love my son as myself? Training him and teaching him in unselfish ways so that I do not teach him to be more angry and frustrated by my own reactions. (Just writing this sentence makes me think of the words of his amazing 5th grade teacher, "Act, don't react!")

I see God's love for me as He works in me to meet my spiritual needs before my physical or financial needs - no fun at all, but a huge blessing when the storm clears and the tears dry up, and I can see the beauty that was created through it and His hand at work in me. 

This post is long enough...
To Be Continued...

Loud and Clear!

Today's message came in loud and clear, and was completely convicting.

I am through Mark, and am now reading through Luke - 3 chapters at a time.

Today I read Luke 4-6 which begins with Jesus being led by the Spirit into the wilderness for 40 days being tempted of the devil and having nothing to eat. When I read verse 4 today I was completely convicted! I missed a few days in the word last week, but I ate three times each day at least, and I thought about food a lot more than that.

Forgive me for not being very eloquent right now. I am just being very real, and expressing where I am at right now. I just don't want to take all day perfecting this blog.

Anyway, I began to think more about the verse on my subtitle Job 23:12 "I have desired the words of His mouth more than my necessary food." I know this is not true of me, but it is a prayer of mine, and I can see God working in me as He opens my eyes to the truth about me. When I read about Jesus not eating for 40 days and then the words of Christ... "It is written, that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God." followed by the reference to Deuteronomy 8:3 "And He humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did they fathers know: that He might make thee know that man doth not live be bread only, but by every word that doth proceed out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live."...

I know I am not there yet, but I will continue to pray that God will work in me and bring me to a place that His word is more important to me than food in a very literal way. That I would replace my thoughts of food throughout the day with thoughts of scriptures, that my cravings would be more and more satisfied by Bible verses rather than snacks, and that my thirsting would be quenched by the "milk of the Word." (1 Peter 2:2)

I need to get my priorities right. I am thankful that I can see and feel God working in me. I am working on becoming more of a "Wordy" than a "Foody".

Pressed Down, Shaken Together, and Running Over

That's how I am feeling right now in my Bible reading. I want to blog all that I am learning, all the messages I receive as I read The Word, because I want to remember it all and retain it all. Sometimes I feel like I am in overload mode, and I can't take in anymore.

Each day before I read my Bible I "prayerfully ask God for a message to me" as Mr. LaHaye instructs. It seems like such a simple thing, but I think this is really key. Asking God to help me focus my attention on what I am reading, and what He is trying to say to me, and to prepare my heart for His Word helps me to really shut everything else out which can be very hard to do at times.

Do you ever incorporate music in your quiet time? Lately I have been singing or reading the words to "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" before I start to pray and read. 

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth become strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace."

It is so neat how this song really helps me to develop a laser focus, and allows everything else around me to just melt away.

I have been reading the gospel of Matthew for the last few weeks. Growing up in church I think I have taken a lot of things for granted. I've known "it" my whole life. There was never a real life changing moment when I realized Jesus loved me. I've known that fact as long as I have known my own name. It is a gift and a blessing to grow up in a Christian home, and I have always been thankful. But, one of the things that I have always just taken for granted and never paid it due awe is the words of our Savior in red. As I have been reading the New Testament this time I have really been focusing my attention more on the fact that Jesus actually spoke these words... trying to imagine His voice speaking, (I know He was not speaking in english. Don't get technical with me.) and the significance His words have to us in our day - to me today - knowing that the wisdom of the Bible is timeless. It is for us right now just as much as it was for those He spoke aloud to years ago. 

There are so many verses in Matthew that help to grow ones faith, to encourage one to daily give up their own will to follow God's, to strengthen ones trust in the Lord to supply every need, because He knows what we need before we do, to know HE IS ABLE!, and to build a passion for the great commission. 

I love the "O, ye of little faith" verses. God has done this and this and this, and yet you doubt he can do that for you?!?! He has created Heaven and earth and all that is in them, He is able to... I love to pray these words when I feel like life as I know it is crumbling around me or someone I love. It is so encouraging to remember He is all powerful and in full control at all times! "God Is Able!" I have highlighted these 3 words in Matt. 3:9 along with many other verses in the book.

As I go back and read my notes even just 2 weeks later I realize I have not retained it all. I had forgotten many of the thoughts and messages that I had written down. This is why it is so important to journal as you read your Bible and pray. (It is so fun to go back and read a prayer journal, mark the ones that have been answered, and give Him praise!) So this is why I feel pressed down, shaken together and running over. I just can't retain every word and thought, but He gives it to me in the moments when I need them. And that is a true blessing.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

Next on the reading schedule is Romans reading no more than 3 chapters a day.

I have just completed that.

Reading through Romans... my cup runneth over with so much truth. I think I could write about each chapter... about each verse. I won't. I don't have time to do that. You can read it and journal your own thoughts and blessings you receive from it.

Chapter 1 specifically verse 21-32 is heart breaking. "When they knew God, they glorified Him not as God, neither were they thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened." As I read through the first chapter it seemed to paint a vivid picture of present day America.

Continuing through the next few chapters, I felt a number of emotions - sadness, then a sense of liberation followed by utter thankfulness. In my notes I wrote "Thankful for guidelines, for true right and wrong. There is no guessing. The lines are not blurred. There's no gray area. It's black or white, right or wrong - that simplifies life! When you can know for sure what is right and what is wrong and you can admit it, you can get it right. You can ask for the cleansing righteousness that only comes though Jesus - His blood - His death and resurrection. That is freedom! Freedom form sin and from guilt. A much better way to live." (my simpleminded notes - wink)

Some other verses I highlighted (key word being "some"):
Rom. 5:3-5
Rom. 8:6, 8, 16, 25-27 (26 is one of my favorite verses), 28-39 PRAISE THE LORD!
"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us."
Rom. 9:15, 19 Have mercy and compassion on me. Help me not resist Your Will.
Rom. 10:1 May our (specifically my) heart's desire be first for the salvation of souls!
Rom. 11:34-36 Makes me want to shout! :)
Rom. 12:1, 2, 11, 12 (12 is another one of my favorites.) Really might as well highlight the whole 12th chapter. Wow! Romans is one of my favorite books on the Bible! It's all yellow. :)

I am trying not to make this post too long. There is so much in Romans, like I said I don't want to write about every verse even though one really could!

My prayer is that God would give me a specific message from His word each day and help me to remember it through out my day. In my prayer journal before reading chapters 10-12 I wrote "...help me to grow and transform into the person you have created me to be..." Then read 12:1-2. He gave me specific directions. I stopped right there in my reading and thanked the Lord for this answer. It is not an immediate accomplishment by any means of course you know. It was a fun little conversation the way I see it. He tells me, if I want to see growth and transformation this is how I do it.

Romans 12:12 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Enjoy your read through Romans. Let me know what touches you most as you read this jam-packed book.

Next for me in my reading schedule is to read through the entire New Testament twice by reading 3 chapters a day. This is supposed to take 6 months.

On Another Note

This is slightly off the topic...

I was just thinking how sweet it is to know the words of hymns. I turned on some piano music, and was just singing along silently realizing how nice it is to focus on the words rather than be distracted by a voice that I may or may not enjoy.

I was listening to this music while reading a book - a book that only requires 1 or 2 pages of reading a day. That's how I fit it in. Listening to music, reading a book and eating lunch all at the same time...

I was touched by the words of the book, so I just want to share it with... whoever you are reading this (wink).

"TODAY IS A NEW DAY... 

IT IS A CLEAN SLATE WITH NO MISTAKES ON IT!"

           (That made me think of one of my favorite movies, Anne of Green Gables.)

"TODAY THE PAST HAS NO PLACE IN YOUR LIFE. Stop and think about that for a minute..."

"Be concerned only for today. In your efforts to...(fill in the blank), you are often so busy looking ahead that you miss the **needs and opportunities you have today. You look forward to...(fill in the blank) and in the meantime you neglect to prepare yourself for TODAY'S EVENTS!" 

"You are accountable for TODAY, and today only. Tomorrow will take care of itself." 

"JUST FOR TODAY 

I WILL LET THE PAST PASS AWAY - 

JUST FOR TODAY."

Matthew 6:34

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Isaiah 43:18-19

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

**Don't miss the needs or opportunities you have TODAY!

So, that took longer than reading 2 pages does. Must get back to other tasks for now.
I am truly enjoying my read through Romans! More on that later.

...just a few thoughts

John 13:17 "If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them."

In order to follow all the steps outlined, I am rereading "How to study the Bible for Yourself" by Tim LaHaye. You can get it for yourself... click here. 

Most people who say they don't believe the Bible, or who make other similar statements have never actually read it for themselves. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. "Really? You don't believe it? What part in particular do you not believe?" "What can you tell me about it?" Do they really know any of the narratives? Do they know the difference between true events in history and parables? How did they come to the conclusion that they do not believe it? 

By the same token, there are many believers who believe the Bible, and don't know it. This side of the coin is better, but not by much. 

Tim LaHaye writes, "...if you are ever going to be a happy, successful Christian it will be by regularly feeding on the Word of God and that takes work. The more you work at it the faster and better you will grow. You will find it is well worth the price you are called on to pay... Jesus gave the formula for success when He said, "If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them" (John 13:17). Happiness then is the result of knowing and doing the will of God as He has revealed it in the Bible. The problem with so many Christians is they have not spent the time learning the principles of the Bible so they don't  even know what is expected of them. It is no wonder they do not enjoy all the blessings of the Christian life."

Why was the Bible written? Who was the Bible written for?

In my reading over the past week... a few thoughts I have had... the verses I have highlighted...

Acts 3:12 "Why marvel ye at this? or why look ye so earnestly on us as though by our own power..."
I know I took this verse a bit our of context, but my thoughts as I read this verse before I went on to read the following verses were of praise recognizing that everything I have, everything I am, and everything I do is only because of Jesus.

Acts 4:24 "Lord, thou art God, which has made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and all that in them is." PRAISE THE LORD! These statements get me excited! If you want to really have a great day, say this statement over and over all day. Say it out loud to the Lord. Say it silently to yourself. Whisper it. Speak it. Sing it. Share it. Shout it! "LORD, THOU ART GOD!" The more you know it, the more you believe it, the more you understand the power and truth in this seemingly simple statement, the less everything else matters.

"LORD, THOU ART GOD!"
Lord, thou art my God. <3

Getting Started With a Plan to Finish

For the New Year I am starting a new blog. The biggest purpose for this blog is to create some personal accountability that will hopefully lead to consistency and completion of a certain goal. I have been very reluctant to start this, but it has become quite a nagging idea. I feel quite vulnerable when writing about my thoughts. I don't really want to do this, but I think it will help me stay on task, and if it helps one person in any way...

The subject comes from a book I read about 8 years ago (Yes, I did read the entire book.) titled "How to Study the Bible for Yourself" by Tim LaHaye. I love the direction given in this book. I have started the reading "regimen" a number of times only to be distracted by another (usually shorter) devotion idea. I am a really great starter, but not a great finisher. I start projects, diets, books... I finish some, but not most.

Anyway, this book in particular is a 3 year Bible reading program (...if I remember that part of the book right. I did read it 8 years ago.) which should not be a problem to one who considers the most important part of the day to be the time spent with God in prayer and in His Word. What is 3 years in a lifetime of Bible reading? Maybe I like shorter studies. Maybe I like to feel that small sense of accomplishment more often.

Enough of the rambling excuses of why I have never finished this study plan. Time to get started.

Actually, I did restart the study a few months ago. I am now quite a bit farther along than I have ever been. I am now in Acts. I have not decided yet if I will restart again in order to share my thoughts from the beginning or if I will just keep going. Without spoiling the book for you and doing my best not to plagiarize, I will list what I have read so far in the order that is given in the book. (I do highly recommend the book to anyone who would like "a good working knowledge of the Bible", "a lifetime of Christian productivity", and "maturity in your Christian life in a relatively short period of time".)

We start in I John - reading it seven times through - the entire book each day for seven days.
Next, read the Gospel of John twice by reading four chapters a day.
Then read the Gospel of Mark twice by reading four chapters a day.
Read the epistles of Paul from Galatians through Philemon by reading an entire book each day excluding Galatians, Ephesians and Timothy. Split these epistles up as you see necessary.
Read the Gospel of Luke - four chapters a day.
Read Acts - four chapters a day.
Read Romans - 3 chapters a day.
Read the New Testament twice - 3 chapters a day.

I do sometimes just read 2 chapters a day. It will take longer to get through the study, but I think it is better to read smaller portions and really take it in. If I am short on time and know that I will be distracted from my reading if I am worried about time, I shorten my reading amount.

I will probably write once a week about things that stand out to me or things I learn or things that I am reminded of. Who knows. I am flexible. Let's see where this study and this blog takes us.