My story is not special or unique in the CrossFit community. It's happening everyday! It is special and unique to me and I hope to the people who care about me. Parts of the story are ugly (not just a little ugly) but it's all real. It's not really a short story. If you're not interested - don't read it.
It's hard to know where to start...
I was not over weight in high school. Although if you had asked me then I would have told you I positively was! I was built slightly bigger and taller than most of my friends. I was never athletic. My athletic history included playing volleyball in my friend's back yard and soccer at the park using shoes or jackets for corners and goals. These are some of my favorite memories although I was never good, and if I touched the ball once a game I celebrated that. Also, one year I did the Pikes Peak Ascent with my dad. That's it.
I put on more than enough weight with each pregnancy... My friends were having babies and snapping back to pre-pregnancy sizes and some even smaller than before baby. They would lose weight nursing. Not me... the pounds kept adding on. With my third (I only put on 5lbs. this time, but I had not lost anything from the first two.) I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and told I would be diabetic. That started the real fight. I did not want diabetes. This was no longer about looking cute in some outfit. It was about health. I was at war! I tried at least 10 fad diets/exercise video routines including but not limited to Atkins, South Beach, The Firm, something called Melt It Off that came with a 2lb weighted ball, Eat Right for Your Blood Type, an alkaline plan - I can't recall the name, HCG... I have had gym memberships and spent hours on treadmills with no visible results. You get the picture. Infomercials were my enemy! I would laugh at them for the first 2 minutes, and then after 5 minutes I was adding them to my Christmas list.
At one point I thought I found the answer. I had lost enough to be content, and I was keeping it off... for about 8 months. Then I started gaining so fast... like pounds (yes plural) a day while eating practically nothing. It was a losing battle. I'm sure I had depleted my body of the lean muscle mass needed and my matablism had shut down. My body was now fighting against me.
In December 2013 the scale had reached the highest number I had ever seen, and I was giving up. I had lost the war. I waved the white flag. Rather than continue to try to squeeze into a size I no longer was, I began shopping for the next larger size. I was tired. I was over it. I was ready to live in my sweats. Every time I had to go anywhere the anxiety of what to wear... I'd rather stay home where no one can see me. If you had mentioned diabetes to me at that time I would have cried hot angry tears, because I felt hopeless. Can you relate so far?
Enter CrossFit, January 2014. I will plug my gym because they deserve it! At FAST Fitness and Sports Training and Crossfit LTP I was given the tools I needed to change my life. I workout 5 days a week most weeks, and I eat clean. It's not a quick fix or a magic pill. It's not always easy, but it's easy enough. It's not always fun, but it's fun enough. It is always worth it!
This is where I'd like to say I started CrossFit and the rest is history. The End. But, I think this is the part of the story you might be wanting to read. I'm going to use some of the things I've posted on Facebook to help me share this part of the story, because I think it will be more accurate than if I try to remember it all now.
How it all began (you may have already read this)...
How I ever stepped foot into my first CrossFit class I will never know...I only went because I said I would... and I paid money for it.I had Dawn take care of all the details so I wouldn't have to think about it at all.She signed me up. She called to reserve my spot. I don't know what else she did. Whenever she said we need to do this... I would tell her to take care of it for me. I just knew I couldn't think about it at all. I put it in my calendar and forgot about it till it was time to drive to the gym for the first foundations class.A call from the gym to invite me to come check it out ahead of time... no thanks! I don't want to know what you're gonna make me do in a public place in front of people - If I know, I won't show up.My first class: the most uncomfortable I have ever been in my life! Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone! Yes, even worse than public speaking! I just kept telling myself "Do not giggle. Do not giggle". That's what I tend to do when I am uncomfortable - giggle.I wore my biggest hoodie and my baggiest sweats. One of the coaches said to me when it was time to run "Are you a wrestler? You can shed some layers." I just smiled and kept on "running" (haha - running)."Don't make eye contact. Maybe they won't call on you." That worked until about the 4th class. I was called out to stand in the center and do a squat. Not that it mattered where I stood. Everybody knew I couldn't squat. "Don't giggle. Don't giggle."My first warm up: "This is only the warm up!" :/My first WOD: "What am I doing here?" :(My response to Jerry when he asked me how it went: "I loved it!" :)I don't know which one of us was more surprised to hear that come out of my mouth!I was thought least likely to stick around by at least one (if not all) of the coaches.For 3 months every time I drove to the gym I would have so much anxiety I would almost throw-up. But then for the next 23 hours until I went back again I was so excited I couldn't wait.What did I love about it? The people, the encouragement, the positivity, the acceptance, the challenge, the finish, the results... No matter how bad I did - it was awesome, because it was my best.Why am I sharing this? Because 3 of my Facebook friends inspired me to say yes to Dawn when she asked me to do CrossFit with her. I am so thankful they shared their journey. I am thankful for my improved health and fitness. I want everybody to know - you can do it too. I tell people when they ask that everybody can do CrossFit, because the movements are scaled to fit your individual ability.Everybody who tries CrossFit has a first day. It's uncomfortable, and it's hard work, but if you stick with it - I dare you not to love it!
We did a WOD called "Annie" which includes double unders (jump rope and get the rope under your feet twice before you land) and sit ups. Again, I could not jump - or jump rope. The coach had me put the rope down and just hop the best I could while twisting my wrists as if I was jumping rope. My max jump rope now is 150 unbroken (without stopping) or 4 double unders unbroken.
More Facebook updates... This one is from May 2014. I was down about 20-25lbs at this point and probably -5% body fat.
Monday morning update... I have an announcement! (are you sitting down?)I LOVE WORKING OUT! WHAT?!?!?!?!I never ever would have dreamed...
I have never liked working out... Not even a little...
When I started Crossfit it was a love/hate relationship.
I loved finishing, but I hated doing the actual work.
Now I can honestly say I love love it!I love that it takes less time than anything else I have ever tried.
I love that I get better and faster results than anything else I have ever tried.
I love that I actually enjoy myself even when it's painful - that is so weird.
...there is one exception... I still hate burpees!
I love that I have finally found a way to get fit and healthy without being miserable the whole time.
I love that on my rest days I miss it. frown emoticonIf you are looking for something new FAST, Fitness and Sports Training and CrossFit LTP might just be the thing for you. smile emoticonHappy Monday!
My thoughts in December 2014...
I'm gonna tell a sappy story, cuz I'm a sap...About a year ago my husband had a heart to heart with me. He said a bunch of sweet husband things... I will spare you... He also said he could tell I had given up. He said he knew it was hard, but because he has never had a weight issue he didn't really know how to help me. He said I needed to find a way to help myself and never give up on myself or my health. A few weeks later CrossFit, FAST and all of you entered my life. I want to say thank you to all of the coaches at FAST. You have influenced my life in a huge way this year. I have learned so much about fitness and eating... I also want to say thank you to all my new workout buddies - my friends. You guys rock my socks off! I love you all! Thanks for welcoming me, for inspiring me, for pushing me, for encouraging me, for teaching me... Thanks for helping me change my life and have a blast at the same time!
I am so thankful for the man that God gave me who loves me more everyday no matter what and always thinks I'm beautiful. He can make me feel beautiful even when I'm at my worst just by the way he looks at me. He adores me and loves me so much more than I deserve, and I love him with all my heart. Oh, but that's not what we're talking about right now... I'm remembering a day he held me in his arms while I literally had an emotional meltdown about what I would wear... We wanted to take the kids to a water park. I wanted so bad to have fun with them in the water, but I just wanted to do it fully clothed! He has lifted me out of my darkest places on many occasions, and I'm not just talking about weight issues. He does not really "get" CrossFit or why I like it so much, but he's happy for me. He has tried it just a little. He'd rather play basketball and mow lawns, and that's ok.
January 2015 - goal setting time...
I had no goals for 2014. When I committed to stay at FAST after foundations was over my only goal everyday was "Work everyday. Work hard everyday. Do my best everyday." There are some things I might like to accomplish in 2015 as far as fitness and performance, but I have so much fun just working hard and surprising myself at the end of a 30 or 90 day period looking back at what I can do.I have not arrived anywhere mind you. My journey is only beginning, but I get a lot of questions... sometimes from people who have not seen me in a while and sometimes from people who see me every week (and therefore see the progression of my "shrinking").I usually say something like I don't have it all figured out yet, I'm just having fun. Find something fun that gives you results.
I have lost 35# this year. A few thoughts about that...
I have lost that much before.
I have lost more than that before.
I have always lost fast and gained it back even faster.
I have never stuck to anything for a whole year, and I have never maintained any amount of weightloss for a whole year.So based on what I have learned about myself this year this is what I have to say...
1. HAVE FUN
2. WORK HARD
3. REFLECT OFTEN
4. CELEBRATE EVERYTHING
|Competing in the 2015 CrossFit Open 15.5 with some pretty incredible ladies!|
Photo credit: FAST, Fitness and Sports Training
My issues with food may not be as big as yours... then again they may be bigger. The point is they are not going away. I gain weight if I smell a donut. If I eat a donut I want 6 more. If you talk to me about CrossFit and clean eating while I'm devouring my half a dozen plus one donuts I will roll my eyes and lick my lips. I know I'll be sorry later, but in the moment I'm not sorry at all!
Everything in moderation never works for me. I am all or nothing. So I choose all CrossFit and no donuts with a smile please.
May 4, 2015
Last I checked (which was at the end of March) I was about 10lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight - yes, pre-pregnancy over 16 years ago. I have hit that target once in the last 16 years and probably only for a day. The struggle! The fight! I'm sure I had about half the muscle I have now... I don't even know if pre-pregnancy weight is a goal for me anymore. I'd like to be stronger and much more lean... don't know that I care about being lighter other than the fact that I'd like to be able to do pull-ups.... I'd much rather clean or snatch my body weight... or deadlift double my body weight or maybe someday even back squat double my body weight... I have to do the math on that... Oh, my word! That's heavy. Maybe not. Anyway, just thought I'd share my thoughts today because they are much more healthy than they used to be, more fun, happier, more kind to me, balanced.Happy Monday!
This journey is not about the size of my jeans (although that is a fun side effect). It's about not feeling so lethargic that I can't get myself off the couch. It's about feeling healthy, energetic, active. It's about doing more things with my family. It's about being an example of heath to my children and others.
|This is not CrossFit. I do other stuff too.|
Photo credit: FAST, Fitness and Sports Training
How did I get from the couch to Rx'd (completing the WOD or workout of the day as prescribed without modifications)? Just daily work. I started out slow. The slowest most days, but it didn't matter. Every rep of every WOD is one step closer to better health and fitness. I was not in competition with anybody other than myself. Everyday I wanted to be better than I was yesterday. It's fun to move from modified to Rx. I'm still in competition with myself, but it's fun to be able to compete with others as well. It's always friendly competition pushing each other to be better. (I don't Rx everyday.)
Like I said, It's happening everyday! I'm not even the only one at my gym that has a life changing story. I'm just the one sharing a story right now.
If you are intrigued and want to try for yourself I would love to join you for your first CrossFit class! I know sometimes it helps to have a buddy. I would love to be that buddy! I'm not joking! I'd be honored and delighted! I realize CrossFit is not for everybody. I didn't get that at first. I thought everybody should quit everything they were doing to do what I was doing. You'll never know till you try, and sometimes it takes a few tries to be sure. Or maybe sometimes it is for you, and you just have to keep going because it works and it's worth it!
In all this fun and fitness it is always important to me that I bring honor and glory to God in my daily life. I mess up all the time, but I work to please Him.
1 Corinthians 10:31
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
My body is "the Temple" and I try to take care of it. I might end up with cancer someday or diabetes or heart disease. Only God knows. I will fight that war when I get there. Right now I am fighting the fitness battle, and, with the ability God gives me daily, the support I get from my peeps at my favorite gym, and the hard work I'm willing to put into it, I am winning!