Random Thoughts

Really not so random, but rather "specific thoughts that may not seem related." That would not make a good title, and "random" is a happenin' word right now... my kids say it all the time, so...

I often wake up with a song in my head and then sing it all day long. Sometimes I can only remember a line or two of the song which drives me crazy, leads me to search it out, so I can listen to and then sing the whole song. Yesterday the only words I could think of were hm hm hm.... "Giver of grace"... I sang it over and over trying to remember the rest of the melody so that maybe I could come up with more of the lyrics so that I could in fact find the song when I searched for it.

Little by little it came to me. This is hard work I will have you know. (chuckle)

"Lamb of God,
Giver of grace.
You're worthy of our highest praise..."

And there it was... the words that would give me the title...

"We have come to seek your face."

Today while I was watching this video and looking at pictures of Jesus (not really, but all we have because of artists and their imaginations), I was struck by the thought, what will it be like when I truly see His face. This thought and imagination brought me to my knees in tears of worship and the realization that I truly long for that. I don't just say so because as a Christian it is expected of me to say and think such things. It is true. Come, Lord Jesus, come.

I then went to my quiet time. I am still in Luke. Short rabbit trail here for a second. It is definitely going to take me longer than 6 months to read through the New Testament twice. Although I am on my second time around, I came to a mental wall. I was not retaining what I was reading. I was just reading, so I took a break from my self imposed regimen to read some other devotion books, on line devotions and listen to some recorded sermons. This will partly explain why I have not blogged in quite a while. Also, I just didn't feel led to do so... didn't have much to say...

Then last night I couldn't sleep. I laid (I know that is not the correct grammar -- whatever) there thinking about the book of Luke and how I couldn't wait to get back to it. After more than an hour of tossing and turning and thinking, I decided to get up and read Luke for goodness sakes! That is the last thought I remember having before my alarm went off this morning.

So right after listening to the song, I read Luke 7 about the woman who washed the feet of Jesus with her tears and her hair -- I could totally relate to her. To have the pleasure of washing the feet of my Redeemer. That gives me a very unworthy feeling. Needless to say, that story came alive to me. (Yes, it annoys me too, when people say "needless to say". If you don't need to say it, why are you saying it? That and "it is what it is". Of course it is. If it wasn't what it is what would it be? ...and it would still be whatever it is...)

In Luke 8 I read the parable of the sower. I call it the parable of the good ground, because it always convicts me and prompts me to pray that I will always be the "good ground". (always. I know I will not always be anything. Always. Always. Always. But I do desire to always be...)

Next thought...
The majority of the posting going on on Facebook this week is about the government and Obama care. I don't post about political things, because I will admit to you that I am not well informed. I am intentionally uninformed, because the more I know the more discouraged I feel. The more I know the more I look at situations and the less I look to God. The little that I do know makes me angry, fearful, discouraged... and who gets the glory in that. So, today I read a few, ignored a few, never even thought about posting anything...

Years ago, I don't know who said it to me first or where I heard it first, but I heard this quote, "Have you prayed about it as much as you have talked about it?" As I read some of the statuses and blogs I began to pray about the things that made me fearful... the freedoms I feel I am losing, the financial strain this will all cause on our own family and many others, the future of our country for our kids, grandkids and future generations. I am hoping that while other Christians are posting they are also praying.

I am thankful for that quote. It comes to my mind often. It stops me from ranting many times, and it calms my spirit.

"Have you prayed about it as much as you have talked about it?"

Falling in LOVE Again: First Love

"It has been said that when we take one step toward God, He takes more steps toward us than there are sands in the beaches of the world." Bill Bright, "First Love" 

These words speak life and love to my heart and soul today. Think of it... when you are going toward somebody very nervous yet, just as much hopeful of a long awaited reunion... How different is it to you if that person stays in the same position or maybe takes a few steps in your direction in a hesitant way. Or, on the other hand, this person sees you from a distance and runs toward you arms open wide with a heart full of love for you desiring this reunion more than you could ever imagine.

The second example is like our unchangeable God every time I come back in His direction He runs to me. (Luke 15:20)

I have always been encouraged by James 4:8, but Luke 15:20 just blew my mind today!

"All that thrills my soul is Jesus. He is more than life to me..." (This song may seem out of place or random in this post, but it is the song that came to my mind as I was thrilled by this realization of God's love and desire for me.)

"His joy overflows. He bestows the deepest blessing, the good things He has been storing away for you. His joy cannot be contained... the overwhelming joy of God over your return... your joy cannot even compare to the boundless delight He feels."

I chose these quotes and some of my thoughts  to begin this blog series reviewing some of the books I have been reading so far this year. I feel very strongly that God directed (Proverbs 16:9) me to each of the books I am going to highlight for you. All the books I have read this year have something in common, and I could not have chosen such a concentrated set of books on my own if I had tried.

In Bill Bright's book, "First Love", he says, "...pray that wherever I go and whatever I do, I will never leave my first love... My first love for God -- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit -- is everything to me."

I found this book in a stack of books my dad was getting rid of - cleaning out his library. I picked it up because I thought it was written by Dr. David Jeremiah. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have given it a second look. When I started reading it I couldn't put it down. It is a book I will have to re-read in order to apply it, but I just couldn't wait to see what the author had to say next about our mutual Love and Lord. This book encouraged me in a number of ways. This first and most important I have already shared with you. Secondly, it encouraged me to think of everything as I did in the beginning... the fresh and new and exciting beginning. To retain and maintain that joy... my salvation (Ps. 51:12), my marriage, my motherhood, my work, my friendships...

To find out other ways this book has been an encouragement I recommend you read it yourself! I think you will LOVE it!

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor hight, nor depth, nor any creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Jesus Christ our Lord. " Romans 8:38, 39

It's my birthday, so I'll blog if I want to

I'll cry if I want to, also... lol

Verses that came to my mind today...

Romans 11:33-34, 36
O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unreachable are his judgements, and his ways past finding out! 
For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor?
For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things; to whom be glory for ever. Amen.

Psalms 9:1,2
I will praise thee, O Lord with my whole heart; I will shew forth all they marvelous works.
I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High.

The song of the day...

My Prayer

Psalm 139:23,24
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Lord, teach me to pray the way you would have me to pray.

I pray for spiritual growth for our family. Help me to draw closer to You each day. Let me feel You near me and see Your hand at work in my life... Help me to abide in You. Help me to grow and transform into who You have created me to be... Lord, transform my life so that others can see and believe in You. Lord, use me. Help me to touch many lives because of You...

Lord, speak to me, and help me to listen. Open my heart and mind... give me a message from Your Word for today. Help me to think about that message throughout my day. Help me to apply that message. Help me to be changed.

Help me to be completely surrendered to Your will for my life everyday.

I look forward to seeing how God chooses to answer these requests in my life throughout this year.

Amy Raw Part 2: Help My Unbelief

One verse that really helped me in my recent struggle is Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 

It was not until Thursday of last week that I realized this battle I was fighting was not with me alone. It was a serious spiritual battle. So, that was at least four days into it. It was then that I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 

It continues to be a lesson in trust and a test of faith. I am thankful for it, because I like the person I am now so much better than the person I was three weeks ago. I know most of you may not be able to tell the difference, but I can. I'd rather live with this me than that me. I think the other people I live with would agree.

God used a number of different people, medias, and His Word to speak to me through my battle. What a blessing.

Words from a dear friend that at first caused me to struggle more. I didn't want to give in that way. It required trusting somebody else to do a job I considered mine. Not a job I enjoy, but being a control freak, a job I didn't trust anybody else with. When I realized the advice was right and what I need to do is trust God... Trust God to work through this other person to do the job right. Trust God to work though this other person to do this job BETTER THAN ME. Trust God with this job.

Again, similar advice was spoken to me from a CD I was listening to. 

Well, it was a lot of inner turmoil, and 
"God, I don't know if I can let go." 
"Amy, do you trust me?" 
After hours of "Yes, but..." Finally I was able to say, "Yes, I trust You fully. This is in Your hands." 

I am telling you! Almost immediate beauty in the situation. (And not only that one particular situation, but also a number of my heavy burdens during this time.) I stepped out of it, and... speechless!

What am I thinking! Stay out of God's way! 

God you are awesome! Thank You for proving Yourself to me again. Help my unbelief!

¹⁰ Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

¹¹ Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

¹² For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

¹³ Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

¹⁴ Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

¹⁵ And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

¹⁶ Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

¹⁷ And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

¹⁸ Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; 

Ephesians 6:10-18

Pressed Down, Shaken Together, and Running Over

That's how I am feeling right now in my Bible reading. I want to blog all that I am learning, all the messages I receive as I read The Word, because I want to remember it all and retain it all. Sometimes I feel like I am in overload mode, and I can't take in anymore.

Each day before I read my Bible I "prayerfully ask God for a message to me" as Mr. LaHaye instructs. It seems like such a simple thing, but I think this is really key. Asking God to help me focus my attention on what I am reading, and what He is trying to say to me, and to prepare my heart for His Word helps me to really shut everything else out which can be very hard to do at times.

Do you ever incorporate music in your quiet time? Lately I have been singing or reading the words to "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" before I start to pray and read. 

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth become strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace."

It is so neat how this song really helps me to develop a laser focus, and allows everything else around me to just melt away.

I have been reading the gospel of Matthew for the last few weeks. Growing up in church I think I have taken a lot of things for granted. I've known "it" my whole life. There was never a real life changing moment when I realized Jesus loved me. I've known that fact as long as I have known my own name. It is a gift and a blessing to grow up in a Christian home, and I have always been thankful. But, one of the things that I have always just taken for granted and never paid it due awe is the words of our Savior in red. As I have been reading the New Testament this time I have really been focusing my attention more on the fact that Jesus actually spoke these words... trying to imagine His voice speaking, (I know He was not speaking in english. Don't get technical with me.) and the significance His words have to us in our day - to me today - knowing that the wisdom of the Bible is timeless. It is for us right now just as much as it was for those He spoke aloud to years ago. 

There are so many verses in Matthew that help to grow ones faith, to encourage one to daily give up their own will to follow God's, to strengthen ones trust in the Lord to supply every need, because He knows what we need before we do, to know HE IS ABLE!, and to build a passion for the great commission. 

I love the "O, ye of little faith" verses. God has done this and this and this, and yet you doubt he can do that for you?!?! He has created Heaven and earth and all that is in them, He is able to... I love to pray these words when I feel like life as I know it is crumbling around me or someone I love. It is so encouraging to remember He is all powerful and in full control at all times! "God Is Able!" I have highlighted these 3 words in Matt. 3:9 along with many other verses in the book.

As I go back and read my notes even just 2 weeks later I realize I have not retained it all. I had forgotten many of the thoughts and messages that I had written down. This is why it is so important to journal as you read your Bible and pray. (It is so fun to go back and read a prayer journal, mark the ones that have been answered, and give Him praise!) So this is why I feel pressed down, shaken together and running over. I just can't retain every word and thought, but He gives it to me in the moments when I need them. And that is a true blessing.

On Another Note

This is slightly off the topic...

I was just thinking how sweet it is to know the words of hymns. I turned on some piano music, and was just singing along silently realizing how nice it is to focus on the words rather than be distracted by a voice that I may or may not enjoy.

I was listening to this music while reading a book - a book that only requires 1 or 2 pages of reading a day. That's how I fit it in. Listening to music, reading a book and eating lunch all at the same time...

I was touched by the words of the book, so I just want to share it with... whoever you are reading this (wink).

"TODAY IS A NEW DAY... 

IT IS A CLEAN SLATE WITH NO MISTAKES ON IT!"

           (That made me think of one of my favorite movies, Anne of Green Gables.)

"TODAY THE PAST HAS NO PLACE IN YOUR LIFE. Stop and think about that for a minute..."

"Be concerned only for today. In your efforts to...(fill in the blank), you are often so busy looking ahead that you miss the **needs and opportunities you have today. You look forward to...(fill in the blank) and in the meantime you neglect to prepare yourself for TODAY'S EVENTS!" 

"You are accountable for TODAY, and today only. Tomorrow will take care of itself." 

"JUST FOR TODAY 

I WILL LET THE PAST PASS AWAY - 

JUST FOR TODAY."

Matthew 6:34

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Isaiah 43:18-19

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

**Don't miss the needs or opportunities you have TODAY!

So, that took longer than reading 2 pages does. Must get back to other tasks for now.
I am truly enjoying my read through Romans! More on that later.